Now before you tune me out, hear me out. Just like most women my age, I have been struggling with my weight for two years. I have tried many lose-weight quick fads that have worked for the first week and if I slip up one time, I gain ten pounds at a disturbingly aggressive rate. With the fluctuation of my weight, came many tears and moments of depression. Growing up I was always the small girl with the big butt. Fast forward to now I am now the woman that get asked if she is pregnant several times a month.
As much as that sounds all bad, the truth is I had to do some soul-searching. Why did I want to lose weight? At first, I lied to myself proclaiming I wanted that summertime body. But the truth was I want to hush the mouth of every person that had ever asked me if I was pregnant or told me I needed to suck in my gut and get a girdle. By the way, I hate girdles I feel like they are an illusion for the body you really want, but you won’t pay to get it or do the work to keep it. So, in short, the word girdle is a curse word in my book even if I really needed to put one on.
Then after meditation, it was there written in red all over my heart. I had become bitter and my motives were all wrong. You can lie to yourself for a long time if you are not in tune with yourself. It was then that I started to break down my own walls that I had built to protect myself.
For some that bitterness and anger can fuel you, but only for a short time, after a while, it will eat at you and drive you to do extremely unhealthy things just to complete your goal. When really health should be the number one priority. For me, I discovered that I had fallen out of love with myself. I disliked and sometimes even hated the woman that reflected in the mirror every morning. I was self-sabotaging myself because I didn’t love me. My self-sabotaging ran so deep that I was doing it and didn’t even notice it. I would eat really unhealthy foods and then try to justify eating them by saying it was a cheat treat for doing so well. The reality was that I wasn’t doing well nor did I deserve a cheat meal. I was falling into a vicious cycle that was causing depression, mood swings and more weight gain. The very thing I was trying to get rid of became a thorn at my side.
I started to do the work to get me to a better place mentally. This meant going to therapy which was a huge step for me. I grew up with parents that didn’t believe in telling your business to anyone else for the fear of being judged. But I made the step and I am so happy I did. For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like I was crazy. It was in those sessions that I got the courage to love me just the way I was. I had to learn to love every blemish, stretchmark, roll and even the infamous pudge that was plaguing my midsection. I realized that I like me and I started to use affirmations to change how I looked at myself. Instead of seeing all of my imperfections I started to see myself as who I was created to be. I started to love me and to put my health both mentally and physically above all else. You can’t give what you don’t have and I had been running on E for years.
As mothers and wives, it’s easy to put everyone above yourself but I can’t stress this enough; running on E has the potential to lead to compromised immune systems, insomnia, headaches, depression and overall decreased health. This is why self-care is so important but that’s a story for another day. Today I want to help you to start looking at your health over weight loss.
As I stated before making healthy food choices was a struggle. Let me tell you a little story. I remember when I was pregnant with my first child. All I wanted to do was give her the best. I had this strong sense of love even before she was born. I was determined that I was going to breastfeed her. Even with the pain and fussy sleepless nights, I didn’t give up. Do you want to know why? Because I loved her. That same love we put into our children is the same love we have to put into ourselves. The moment I started to feel that love ( it took over a month) was when it was easy to choose the salad over the burger. It was easy to drink more water. Why? Because I loved me and I wanted the best for myself. Weight loss for me is the by-product of self-love and health over wanting that summer body. Summer body goals may start your journey but self-love will always be the end result.
I want to challenge you today to start putting your mental and physical health as a priority on your to-do list. Take it from me you will be more confident and productive in everything you do. Even if you start off with a walk a few days a week or starting eating a salad a day. Start your day off with meditation. Whatever gets you closer to self-love do it, sis. It’s so worth it in the end.
How are you going to start showing yourself some love? Tell me in the comments below so I can support you on your journey.
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