How to remove toxic people from your life
As we prepare for the new year I know we are all thinking of way to cut people off in 2019. The truth is I don’t believe in just cutting people off for no reason. I do believe that dis-associating yourself from people who are toxic is a must at any point in your life. Today I will be telling you how to remove toxic people from your life. First we have to be able to identify toxic people by their character.
How to identify Toxic people
- Toxic people try to control you. Toxic people always try to manipulate you by subtle manipulation. They often want you to do all the things they want to do. They might manipulate you into doing something by making you feel bad.
- Toxic people ignore boundaries. If you ask someone to stop doing something and they continue doing it, that person is toxic. People that care about you will always respect your boundaries.
- Toxic people take without giving. If you have any relationships that you are always giving and the other person only takes, this is a sign of a toxic relationship. Relationships should always be built on the foundation that both parties are mutually benefitting. If not, the person not giving is toxic.
- Toxic people love to be victims. Toxic people always try to be victims in every aspect of life. They often play the blame game instead of taking responsibility for decisions in life.
- Toxic people are always right. They will always find a way to be right in any situation. Even if they are wrong they will justify why they are right.
The main reason why you should cut off toxic people is because toxicity can travel. If you are on constant contact with someone who is toxic it is easy for that person to influence your decision in a negative way. You will often second guess yourself. They will often make you feel uncomfortable and even ashamed of your own process.
Just like viruses, toxicity can affect you just by association. Again this is why we cut off toxic people.
Have you ever had someone that caused you to feel drained or self conscious after speaking to them. You often leave their presence agitated, which causes you to react negatively to those around for example, your husband. You and your husband later get into an argument about nothing. Now both of you are upset because you were affected by a toxic person.
How to cut off Toxic people from your life.
Cutting off toxic people has to be a very sensitive process. It is important that you handle it as a gradual healthy process. Other wise cutting someone off can blow up in your face.
- Don’t put any expectations on them. Understand that this process isn’t for them but for you. Don’t expect anything from them. Know that that toxic people are motivated by what’s good for them. When you give up the desire for them to change, it’s easier to let them go.
- Establish boundaries. Just as I stated earlier, toxic people don’t care about boundaries. It is your job to enforce and maintain healthy boundaries. Toxic people will drain you of all of you energy and resources if you let them. So start by establishing your boundaries and enforce them no matter what.
- Know your weakness. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship it’s always because you allowed it. Yes this person may be toxic but you have to take responsibility in your role of the relationship. You may have found yourself in this relationship because of low self esteem, rejection, or you just need to be needed. Toxic people know your strengths and weaknesses and they often use your weakness against you. You can de-weaponize your weakness by accepting your weakness and make it a strength. Work on building yourself up so that toxic people can’t manipulate you using your weakness.
- Get your power back. To remove toxic people from your life you must first reduce their power over your emotions. Toxic people often project what they feel about themselves on others. They won’t acknowledge these feeling about themselves, so they will project them on to you. Know what and who you are dealing with. See them for who they are: unhappy people avoiding the truth about themselves.
- It won’t be easy. Just like children, toxic people often throw tantrums like children when ignored or they realize their tactics are no longer working. They may even increase their tactics as a way to reel you back in. Don’t give in as that will give them the power back on you. Remember your boundaries and enforce then accordingly.
- Surround yourself with healthy relationships. Now that you know what it’s like to be in a toxic relationship now you should seek healthy relationships. By surrounding yourself with healthy relationships it will make it easier to let go of the toxic ones.
I hope this helps you bring in the New Year by letting go of toxic relationships and bringing in healthy relationships.
You can also check out my Youtube video below